This is a tough one for most of us, myself included. Self-control is not a skill that can be taught, it needs to be developed over time, but the sooner we are made aware of it the sooner the development can start. And telling someone to control themselves doesn’t really make them aware that they are lacking this skill. The problem most of us have with this is that once we have this skill we can no longer play the blame game.
A disagreement usually turns into an argument when one or more of the participants lack self-control. Emotions start taking over and things can spiral out of control pretty fast.
What do we actually have the right to control? Our-self, yet we try and control everyone and everything around us in order for life to make sense. When we see or hear something on the news that upsets us, do we ever ask ourselves why it is upsetting us? Is there anything we can do or say that will change the situation? If not, why are we letting it upset us so much? Are we controlling how we react to the situation rationally?
When my kids argue and things get a bit out of control I always ask the question, Why did you do it? And inevitably the answer is he/she made me do it. And this is when the discussion about self-control starts. Because he/she cannot make you do anything unless you give them the power to. And if you give them your power, then you must deal with the consequences of your decision. I believe they are slowly starting to understand, and at the same time so am I.
Self-control is necessary in so many areas of our life, what we eat, what we drink, how we exercise, what we do with our time, and once we develop self-control we can no longer blame the food and beverage industry for our larger than we would like body, for our poor behavior when we drink a bit too much, for our poor health, or our stressed out lives. We have to look in the mirror and ask some hard questions. But it’s easier to blame than to take responsibility. But it feels awesome to get your power back, try it!
I could write a lot more about this topic, but others have already done that. Thank you for reading.
“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” – Brian Tracy
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